Dating and Relationships are an Art or a Science? by Sophie Rinaldi
Dating. Beautiful, challenging and complicated game. You want to be on top of it, right? You want to ride the wave, finish first, and take the prize – the best partner out there! You want to be a winner and live the life of sweet promises that the whole world conspired to intoxicate your mind since you were a kid.
Where are the happy endings? Where is the funny-easy-playful way of getting the girl or the boy? Where is the promised land of ecstatic feelings, the passionate love making and godlike alchemy you are supposed to have when you are in love? Well, they are all there, but it seems that nobody told you that it takes both science and art to get your dreams. The truth is that it can be as much fun, pleasure and a growing experience as it can be painful, humiliating and full of uncertainties.
The good news is that this game has some unchanging rules, established by biology, society, cultural norms. These new rules include the prospect of meeting someone through online dating which was disdained previously. But even with the rising popularity of online, the bad news is that some of the online dating rules are changing on an ongoing basis, depending on the personality traits that every one has. Previous online dating experiences may translate into fears, traumas, or certain expectations that will burden the fragile entity that it is a fresh relationship.
Rarely, does a person find only by one other person to immediately to full the life-long niche of love. Many times in the online dating scene, you will have many potential life partners join your bed. While choices are good, many people project expectations from previous relationships upon the new partner. Therefore, each of you will have to learn the art of dating and the science of having a healthy relationship. Although you may grow up thinking that you know it all, sooner or later you will need to learn the fine art and science behind online dating if you want to stop the online dating cycle.
Don’t worry! Even if you apply some discipline to it, the romance and magic will still be there, this time with a solid base. Now, let’s answer some questions: What do you want in a relationship? What needs to you expect to be fulfilled in your partner? Which personality types spark your fire without burning you to the ground? How much are you willing to compromise and which things are non-negotiable? Answers and strategies don’t come easy, of course, but anyway, who said that it should be easy?
The truth is that online dating and relationships can be so complicated that many times you’ll feel like giving up. Now, you could just storm into online dating with a “get in and get out” mentality. You comfort yourself with the mantra “nobody is really worth it,” and the smart way is to show an olympian detachment to the teenagerish emotional games. But you’ll be back, humbled by loneliness, hungry for communion and impatient for love. Only this time, you’ll accept the ridiculous idea that a strong love relationship it doesn’t just happened in online dating. Online dating takes effort and time to build it; there is nothing cheap nor easy but well worth the cost.
The prescription for a beautiful online dating relationship will challenge you to find the balance between what you give and what you get, to set boundaries while you become one with your online dating partner You both desire to be independent while still being co-dependent in as a couple. Through this online dating relationship, you learn to negotiate conflict in a playful manner and learn the language of love by reconciling your individual human rhythms, visions, and life values.
Sounds like alien talking for many of you, but the beauty will come from going through the online dating process itself which can become a lifelong trip and ritual of self-discovery. Some of you may even find God through love. Others will discover nuances of your personality that you never knew you had. For some of you, these online dating relationships will make you be a better version of yourself in the end. Validation, empowerment, and self growth are only few of the signs of a good relationship.
Nevertheless, clouds and storms will be and challenge your relationship. Sometimes, you may discover that you and your partner didn’t follow the same path together. Even more alarming, many people get together not because they wanted to share a life together, but they had similar traumas which caused them to feed each other problems. Sometimes, these online dating relationships can be salvaged and continue down a path of enlightenment, but some fall back into the self-destructive habits.
Dilemmas can be at every step in the genesis of a relationship. Maybe, you’ll have to chose between two possible partners? Maybe, you are unsure if the one you are with is the right one? If you should let go of an online dating relationship or keep investing in it, overcoming lies and betrayals, forgiving or being faithful to your principles, all of this can appear at any point and shadow the beauty of an online dating relationship.
Those are the moments when an objective and qualified opinion can bring insight and offer clarity to these complicated situations. My promise is that my experience, not only with clients but both as a player of this game, allows me to offer you the needed help in troubled times.
Online counseling can offer you the needed insight into the realm of online dating relationships. My therapeutic approach can guide you to find the right partner for you or to solve the standing issues of your relationship. Come find Sophie Rinaldi at http://www.therapy-counseling.net . Online counseling and therapy through live chat or email advice!
About The Author
Sophie Rinaldi I am an advice expert and licensed therapist. I got an interest in psychology when I was 16 and since then I am pursuing a life long adventure: dealing with human mind and it’s consequences. Fascinating, sometimes hard, most of the time beautiful! Each of us is a psychologist at heart, but the true science empowers and reveals many of the mysteries of being alive, without taking the magic out of it! http://www.therapy-counseling.net
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